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love time

Jan. 4th, 2006 | 02:33 pm

in amarillo.
again.
i love being reminded of all the reasons i left this stupid place.

but really, it hasn't been that bad.
i've been riding my bicycle up and down a-town.
people look at me like i'm crazy....like *gasp* someone not traveling in a H2 or Excursion.
but there are some new sweet bike lanes so i don't have to worry about those fuckers runnin me down.

and look out for bicycle club 2006!!
justin goers' brother in atlanta runs a bike thing called faster mustache (http://fastermustache.org), and we would like to bring some of that lovin to smtx.


i can't wait to return to san marcos. i'm homesick. miss my apartment and friends.

darron's in amarillo now but has to stay longer than me. haha
he had an accident on his PEOPLE, and crashed and burned on the road. so, he has to see this doctor everyday to clean and wrap his wounds.
but we're gonna hang and drink too much coffee and get crazy crunk.


my mom wants (kinda) to get rid of one of our dogs. :( i really want to keep her, but the deposit for pets at balcones is outrageous.
SO if anyone wants a pet doggie, let me know please. i'll bring her with me to san marcos.
i'd love the company.
she's simply awesome.


bye for now.
i hope everyone had a wonderful holidayz.

ps...i'll be back monday probably (...counting down the days)

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so god damn restless

Nov. 30th, 2005 | 02:42 am
mood: exhaustedexhausted
music: falling you - the canoe and the waterfall

I am not motivated. Not motivated.
Maybe by refining my thinking - to believe that I will overcome this awful feeling of “the universe is so damn big anyway, why the fuck does it matter?”




Food deprived and hallucinating
Too aware and medicating with inconsequential distractions
Too much dreaming when I should be sleeping
I’m always pressing the wrong buttons




I saw the universe today in a picture
It was globular and speckled with flashes of lightning
My hairs rose
I thought about myself for a bit
Thinking, how fast am I really spinning?
How fast could I possibly be going?
I wish I could travel to the edge and give it a poke
Like a liquid mirror in the movies, it could flex with my finger
Or like the mirror I look at everyday, it could mock me
And only show me what I’ve already seen

I watched the sky tonight, noticed bright lights through fading light
I thought about the universe
My eyes watered as I wondered about my plot on the map
A depth within me escaped, saying
“Don’t be frightened, watch how I travel so freely
You do the same, I can see you doing it now
You are me, as I am you
Mirrors in our universe”
I won’t know infinity until I release my shadow
Let the lights soak me on all sides
The distances I see mean little to me
My finger to my pen
My foot to the stair
My mind to emotional stirrings
My soul cleverly attached to you
But I must find their meanings

My arms move in slow motion as I swing them
They can’t keep up as I trace the constellations
I use my sight instead to frame the sky
Blink for off, squint for clarity
Somewhere else I have the patience
I am blinking like the star I’m seeing

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good words

Nov. 22nd, 2005 | 07:49 pm

Serenity of Knowing ...(I wish I wrote this, but I didn't) ...enjoy


The world is a palette of varied beauty with subtle and not-so-subtle differences in brilliance and hue. But, like all we perceive subjectively, many things can fail to meet our expectations. People don't behave as we'd wish them to, situations turn out differently than we'd imagined, and the end result is often unhappiness. The remedy is acceptance - an open-minded, understanding perception that brings the serenity of knowing every individual, situation, or difficulty is unique and valuable in some way. It is a mode of respect for differences, of seeing beyond faults or disappointments and reaching contentment.

Though acceptance necessitates recognizing and acknowledging situations or attitudes that exist in the present, it does not imply that you need also give your approval. To approve or to disapprove is to judge, but in accepting, you simply understand that all situations and all people are in a constant state of flux. Likewise, each of us is also in the process of changing and by choosing to accept ourselves (in the past, present, and future); we can truly begin to understand who we really are. Acceptance is freedom from the need to retain preconceived notions, control of others, favored outcomes, or the anxiety that can come when the unexpected occurs. It is more than tolerance, though resisting the urge to react to the choices of others is a large part of the process. Rather it is a patience and gentleness that extends outward, beginning in one's own soul and extending to other people and the world at large.

Sometimes the process works in reverse because accepting others can be easier than accepting oneself, though the latter is the inevitable result of true acceptance. In fostering acceptance, the need to judge is quelled because the belief that others ought to live up to your expectations (or 'should thinking') is eliminated because everything is evolving and deserves to do so without interference. And in letting growth happen and understanding that each person, place, thing, or situation is as it is meant to be, a blissful quiet of the mind and strong feelings of worth can be realized.

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gobblebobble

Nov. 22nd, 2005 | 09:53 am
mood: nerdynerdy

if anyone will be in san marcos over the break, let me know.

i'll be at my apartment, wasting away with beer and wine and sleep and vh1.

i might eat thursday with darron and carl, but i also might buy a big meatless roast.
mmmm.

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god i love thursday nights

Nov. 10th, 2005 | 08:49 pm
mood: bouncy
music: madoooooona hung up

omg 80s dance party at georges!!
omg so there.
so.
there.
omg i hope they play madonna.

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obnoxious girls

Nov. 4th, 2005 | 12:16 am
mood: awakeawake

4 shots of espresso = tinkerbell.. bob (the bear and in the car).. droopy noses..

this one's for you, katie...

 

all the leaves are brown and the sky is grey

i've been for a walk on a winters day

I'd be save and warm if I was in LA

california dreaming on such a winters day

 

stepped into a church I passed along the way

well, I got down on my knees and I pretended to pray

you know the preacher likes the cold, he knows I'm gonna stay

california dreaming on such a winters day

 

if I didn't tell her, I could leave today

california dreaming on such a winters day

 

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gaaarrrr!

Nov. 3rd, 2005 | 10:33 am
mood: annoyedannoyed

so here's a humorous quote from the university star (nov 2):

"The third reason why (to vote for Prop 2) is because the nation was founded upon Christian principles; therefore the founders would vote an emphatic "YES" for Proposition 2. The framers of the Constitution believed that the laws should be centered on the precepts of the Bible. And according to Genesis 18-19; Romans 1:18-32, and I Corinthians 6:9, homosexuality is a sin, not something one is born with.
What our country needs now more than ever is to return to the principles it was founded upon. Same-sex marriage would do just the opposite."


duuuhhhh...how about leaving your religion out of the laws that everyone must live by...and don't speak for the "framers of the constitution"... maybe those guys dabbled in homosexuality
saying that same-sex marriage should not be allowed because homosexuality is a sin means nothing to me. i don't believe in "sin" ...to me, it doesn't exist. so if this thing passes, then they better come up with a better reason than that.

god bless texas.



we can stagnate in our own pool of shit or we can move, progress, filter out all the bullshit and leave. it. behind.

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update!:

Nov. 2nd, 2005 | 12:10 am

how old am i?

i've shattered, scattered.

 

maybe that's where i disappeared to.

millions of tiny fragments in the air.

i've been there, right there.

you just can't see me.

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so sad

Aug. 8th, 2005 | 03:00 pm

peter jennings...r. i. p.

peter jennings

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stirred

Apr. 30th, 2005 | 04:16 pm

I have been waking up early lately, usually at 7am. Not because I have to, but because I want to. I haven't really been sure of why I am doing this, but I just ran across something that struck a deep chord:

"...Rise, prepare to salute the sun and the new day. You are granted another gift from the cornucopia of existence, from a vibrant universe that does not want to do without you today."

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